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November 14th World Diabetes Day

What diabetes means to me…
January 19th 2010, Ellie Fincham (my daughter), Janell Fincham (my husband’s sister), Raymond Finchams mother (my husbands grandmother died at 28), My dad’s uncle (died at 6), The first time in my life I couldn’t escape consequences of life and living, Feet, Eyes, Legs, Heart, Kidneys, Fear (mind-boggling fear), Anxiety (beyond words), Injections with a needle in my daughters body…by me her mother…

A lot of wondering, is she ok? will she be ok? does it hurt? does she notice? if she eats…? if I bolus? if I don’t bolus? basal or bolus? will her liver save her from all the lows? will she wake? will I wake? is she breathing? what is her number? where will her number be? can she handle it? will she handle it? will she hate me? will she hate herself? will she just hate? can I help her? will she forgive? can I forgive? will they know to give her juice? will they call me when they need to? will they know if they need to? do they know how dangerous a low is? do they know how fast it can happen? will they watch her like I do? is she going to make friends? is she going to be confident? will she meet a man who can support her and watch over her like I do? will she lose a leg? will she go blind? will her kidneys fail her? can I stop it? what if I don’t control the numbers well enough? what if I do and she still goes blind? what will happen to her if something happens to me? what will happen to me if something happens to her? why…why does she have to have diabetes? why? why? why? why?

Now I know, to say thank you more, a little more about life, how to appreciate the importance of family, there is never enough time, people should simplify (literally), there will never be enough money, those who sacrifice their bodies, time, families to science and medical discoveries have given me a chance to keep my daughter alive, that I will do anything to make sure my babies are safe, anything, I am a good mother, my husband is a good father, my parents are amazing people and will sacrifice for my family without hesitation…because WE are ALL family, family is really the most important thing in life, I love my in-laws, I can sacrifice, my children are beautiful, my daughter is strong, I can love my step-daughters as much as I love my own children, there are good doctors, there is a HUGE support network of PWD and Caregivers on-line that keep me grounded and loved every time I flip the computer on!!!  THANK YOU ALL!

Note:  This blog post was not completed to my liking due to a loss in our family, but I wanted to post today…a very important day, so I had to just add the last sentence and post…Happy World Diabetes Day to all and ((Hugs)) to all who share!

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