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Need vs. Want

I’ve been overwhelmed ALOT lately.  Since Lily started taking insulin again, the worry and the sadness set in and decided to camp out a while.  I’m trying as hard as I can to not let things get me down.  I know God has a plan.  But sometimes, I really just want to get away and skip all the hard stuff.  I want to lay on a beach with a pina colada in my hand….watch the waves, get a massage and dance the night away with no worries.  Unfortunately, this is not what God has in store for me right now.  I have to say though, that despite the fact that I don’t have what I want, I always have what I need.  Always.  All in all, I’m very blessed.  I have all the essentials, plus some.  I have my health and for the most part, so do my kids and my family.

Yesterday, Lily didn’t need any insulin.  Today, she only needed two units so far.  She’s been running low and I’m happy for those days where the rollercoaster seems more like a relaxing boat ride than what we’ve been used to.

I am considering letting Lily attend diabetes camp this summer.  I still need to look into it and talk to the staff about how she eats.  If they are willing to work with us and allow Lily to continue refraining from the grains and refined foods, I will definitely consider letting her go.  Despite the fact that she’s back on insulin, I still believe that her long term health depends on what she puts in her mouth, and how she cares for herself physically and emotionally.  I have four years until she’s able to make her own decisions and I just pray that she will make good ones for her sake.

Hope you all are doing well.  I miss writing every day.  I’ll try to write more often.

Jayne

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