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Letting Go

Next week at this time, the Oakland marathon will be happening and I won’t be there.

Sometimes we make plans and they just don’t work out, and it’s important to be able to let go gracefully. It’s not like I’m not going to be participating in athletic events next weekend: I’m still doing the Fight for Air StairClimb (still time to donate for a chance on a quilt!) and the Twilight 5k portion of the Oakland Running Festival.

What happened is that I was hoping that my family (me, Mr and 2 girls) would be able to run as a family team for the marathon relay. As it got closer it became apparent that a few of Mr. McBody’s orthopedic woes were not going to allow it. I’ve been looking and looking for a 4th person but it just didn’t pan out, until last Thursday. I went to sign us all up and BAM – it was sold out. SOLD OUT! I was so crushed. Incredulous really. Damn.

For a while I bandied about the idea of signing up for the half. But I think it’s crazy to even try and walk a half marathon with no training. I’ve been diligent about my 30-minute minimum of exercise for 22 days now (YAY #7daychip) but that has not included distance running. I think I could’ve probably pulled out the 7.5 miles, but not 13.1. Wah.

Part of me was mad at myself. Part of me felt really embarrassed. Part of me was soooooooo sad about not getting the gorgeous new Oakland marathon medal. But in the end I have to let it go. I have to remind myself of my own mantra: “Be mindful and don’t suffer.” To push myself through a half marathon would be a suffering thing, I can tell you. This just isn’t the time.

I am proud of the other goal I’ve been working toward this month, my Project Consistency. It’s been a very good thing for me. It would be different if I’d just been sitting on the couch eating ice cream all month, but that hasn’t been the case. I still have something to feel proud about.

I do want to do at least one or maybe two half marathons this year. The Las Vegas to be sure (so excited – running the LV strip AT NIGHT!), but maybe also the Disneyland Half in September. (Edited to add: SOLD OUT! DAMN!!!!!!!!) It’s just going to take some planning.

Yeah, planning WAY AHEAD. Wow!

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