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I Think I Can

I woke up this morning to Kim Vlasnik’s Facebook announcement of her new undertaking, You Can Do This. (Yes, I’ve been known to check Facebook upon awakening. What?)

I’d heard little peeps and hints about You Can Do This around the diabetes universe for the past few weeks, but I thought I’d just wait for the actual announcement to come. I’m glad I did; today was a day when I needed that announcement.

Part of the reason I’ve been absent from conversations in the Diabetes Online Community is that I’ve been all too present in the conversations in my head. I’ve been listening to my inner voice, and let me tell you, that voice is an undermining, nasty, vindictive and pessimistic little son of a bitch, especially when it comes to diabetes management and what the future holds.

Evil thought by evil thought, I’m trying to work through it. I’m learning to talk back when the Inner Underminer says things like, “You’ll never get your A1c back down below 7.0″ or “It’s too much trouble to go out to dinner with friends and deal with restaurant food. Let’s just sit here on the couch and eat turkey pepperoni and cry about our health insurance woes.” Or, “You didn’t even finish d-blog week, slacker. You can’t do anything right.” I understand that feeling sad and frustrated with diabetes — and with life in general — is part of being a normal person, but I’m struggling to strike more of a balance between the Inner Underminer and the Happy Voices that haven’t been speaking up as much as they should be.

That’s why it was such a relief to see so many familiar faces this morning, all with the same message: You’re not alone, and you can do this.

I got a little misty as I watched the video. But when I got to the end, I heard a familiar voice: “They can do this,” the voice said, “but you can’t.”

So I watched it again. And again. And I realized that, no matter how loud that sucker in the recesses of my diabetic head gets, I’m so glad that you guys are always louder.

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