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Hardware Department

I've had my trusty insulin pump Arnold for about 3.5 years now. But about 3 years ago, I noticed that changing the AAA battery out became quite a physical feat. You see, the general directions state that you can use a nickel or a quarter to open the battery cap. However, that little booger would not budge no matter how hard I pushed with George Washington's little head.

So I eventually had to use a flat-head screwdriver to open my battery cap. This works pretty well, except my battery cap gets more stripped each time I change my battery. I keep wondering if I'm ever going to get to a point where I will never be able to open the battery cap and will have to order a new pump, but I always get it open somehow.

Until recently.

This past Saturday, after a rainy day spent indoors cleaning the house, I was applying some lotion after drying out my hands with cleaning solution. When all of a sudden, "BOOP-BEEP-BOOP!" "Huh?! I should have plenty of insulin," I thought. I look down at Arnold and saw the empty batter symbol and "Low Battery" lit up by a green backlight. "Fantastic!" Nothing like trying to open a stubborn battery cap with a screwdriver with lotiony hands. It's like trying to put a cat covered in butter into a bath. Impossible!

After several attempts to open the battery cap, nothing was budging. Of course, my mind immediately goes to, "OMG, I can't get it open! I am going to die! Or at least have to give myself a shot every 2 hours until Monday because I don't have a prescription for Lantus!" I was freaking out . . . a little.

I run out to the garage where Trey was working on one of our cars with black, oil-stained hands. "HELP!" I said, holding my pump in one hand and the screwdriver in the other. "My hands aren't clean," he said. "I don't care. I can't get it open because I have lotion on my hands and I'm freaking out . . . a little." So he takes my pump and unscrews my battery cap while I held the new battery in my hand. He puts the new battery in, screws the lid down, and the screen comes back to life. "Thanks," I said, sighing at the same time. He smirks at me, knowing I was freaking out over something so simple, or to him at least.

Screwy insulin pump.

I do this every time it takes more than 2 attempts to change my battery. I am easily convinced that my life will end because I can never open it. I just need to keep in mind that I have the ultimate Hardware Department just a "Honey . . . " call away. Or maybe I'll just forgo the lotion next time.

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