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diabetic dreamin'

diabetes is now officially invading my dreams. 

last night i dreamed that my infusion site fell out while i was sleeping.  in the dream, i woke up with blood dripping out of me where the site had been (way more blood than would ever actually come from an infusion site, of course).  then i tested, and my bg was 520 mg/dL.  i'm pretty sure real meters only go up to 500 and then say >500 beyond that...but that was my dream.  i remember my dad and his wife were there, and in real life they've never seen my pump.  in the dream this was their first time seeing me with it, and everything was crazy, and i felt very anxious.  they thought the pump was bad and not helping me, and i was trying to convince them that this doesn't usually happen and that the pump is actually wonderful.  sounds like i was having a nice, relaxing sleep, huh?

i don't think this was my first dream that somehow involved diabetes, but it was definitely the first where it played a major role.  i've been thinking recently about how diabetes is forever.  of course i knew this very early on, but i don't think it quite hit home at first.  i've had to adjust my fantasies of the future a bit...my wedding [+ insulin pump in my dress], pregnancy [+ strict, rigid diabetes management], etc.  i had a feeling a day would come where i dreamed in diabetes, and i'm sure this will not be the last time that happens. 

all of this has been on my mind, oddly enough, as i have felt significantly less like a diabetic since getting my pump.  i forget it's there 90% of the time, and eating meals is almost like it was pre-D.  of course, when i get undressed at the end of the night and i forget to grab my pump before it goes crashing to the floor, i am reminded.  perhaps the dreaming is indicative of the fact that diabetes is moving into the background of my life.  it's still always there, but i'm not always thinking about it or paying attention to it, and the day-to-day routine of it's mangement has is becoming seamlessly intertwined with every other part of my routine. 

when i got my pump, my first diabetic buddy ever said to me: "welcome to the world of almost normal!"  truer words had never been spoken. 

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